should i find out whether i’m having a boy or a girl?

Spoiler, we already did!

A baby boy will be joining our little Richards gang…and I will be completely outnumbered if you include the pooch!

One thing I hadn’t expected was a lot of pressure and opinions surrounding whether you discover the gender of your baby prior to D Day. Lol no idea why I hadn’t expected that, everyone and their goldfish has an opinion on anything to do with pregnancy.

Questions. Oh so many questions! So far, conversations in pregnancy have generally gone a bit like this:

Me: “I’m pregnant!”

Anyone else: “Ooh, what are you having?”

8 weeks later…

Me: “We’re having a boy!”

Anyone else: “Ooh, what are you going to name him?”

Lol, there seems to be a generic list of “making conversation” questions that people like to ask, that tend to go in that kind of order. How very English of us.

Whether you’re all for joining team boy or team girl before little one graces you with their presence, or happy to wait until they’re here, everyone has an opinion on whether you should find out. From old school ideas that you should wait until they’re born, and “they will bring their name with them” (sorry what, am I also growing a small name tag too??), or “you’ll miss out on all the excitement of the moment they tell you” (erm, pretty sure I’m going to be a tad busy around then, and could do without any further surprises), some people will tell you exactly what they think. Or, the tales of the sonographer getting it wrong, the baby crossing their legs during the scan, or maybe they’re pro finding out and wish they had done the same.

Then there was the pressure of finding out. It started to drive my (over hormonal pregnant) brain crazy in the weeks leading up to our scan. Everyone was constantly asking me “ooh, when do you find out”, among plenty of other baby gender related questions.

Do you know what I wanted to scream back in their faces? I don’t care what he/she is, I just want to see my baby again, and know that they’re healthy.

I knew I was over-reacting. I know that people were simply excited for me. That’s why I shut those mad crazy pregnant woman thoughts away in the back of my mind and smiled politely.

Just remember this in pregnancy, everyone has an opinion. But guess what, you’ll also know what feels right.

For as long as I’d known babies existed, I knew I would want to find out what the little bean inside me was going to be before they popped out.

I love a plan, and this allows me to have some kind of idea about what is to come. I know that babies don’t read the manual whilst in the womb, and anything could happen, but this just gives me a little bit of the control that I crave, back.

It’s not just the whole boring “planning” bit of my personality that made me want to find out though. Let me get a little emosh.

I wanted to connect with my baby. I’d spent the last 20 weeks unsure of who I was, let alone who he was.

I feel a bit weird talking to him at the moment, I don’t know how to do it, or what to say. I’m sure this will all come, and it will start to really kick in the moment he does, lol. I’m starting to feel him more and more at the moment, but I can’t wait for the day that he becomes more noticeable, and regular. For the day that he responds to my voice, and more importantly, Ross’s. Lol I’ll probs take that back as soon as I have a foot permanently wedged in my ribs.

So yeah, I want to get to know him a little bit before he joins me in real life. I want to really enjoy this pregnancy, and for me, that involves knowing who he is.

We’ve booked hypnobirthing, and I’m hoping to do Bump Yoga, both of which I’m hoping will allow me the time and skills to tune into him.

But for now, I’m enjoying getting used to the idea that we’ll have a little boy joining the crew. I love being able to picture him as a toddler, what he might look like, what he might be into.

And obvs what I might dress him in (before he gets the chance to choose himself, lol), and how I might grow his hair. The important things, you know.

What do you think about finding out baby’s gender? Did you choose to find out, and what was your experience?

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