Ok, so I feel like I’ve got some explaining to do. You might have noticed that I went a little bit quiet on the ol’ blog of late. Well SURPRISE, I’ve only been growing a HUMAN CHILD.
Turns out, it’s kinda difficult. I always thought that the first few months of pregnancy would breeze by.
No heavy baby to lug around, it will be easy to keep a secret, yeah I’ll be fine. Erm, NO. I’m going to write a separate post to my thoughts on the first trimester, but for now hey hello let’s talk about the fact that there are currently two heartbeats inside my body. What the hell.
If you’ve followed my blog for a few months, you might know that I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer back in August 2016. I blogged about it here, here and here, if you want to know more. One of the things that I worried about most, was the implications the cancer may have on my ability to have children, or to carry a child, and now I’ve gone and shocked everyone and his cat by getting pregnant. Oops, lol.
So here’s where we are.
On the 10th May, off I went on my first solo flight with work, jetting out to Switzerland for a couple of days of meetings. Except, it turns out I wasn’t quite on my own. After a few niggly suspicions, I’d taken a pregnancy test with me, and saved it for the last morning before I came home. I mean, we’ve already had the spoiler there, the pregnancy test confirmed that there indeed was a poppy sized pickle right there snuggling away in my womb.
If you’re into the detail, I’d had a couple of days of implantation bleeding, insanely sore boobs, and back pain. Oh yeah, and I cried when Ross told me he didn’t love my outfit one day. Normally, I’d tell him to go and stick his opinion up his bum.
So yep, there I was all alone (except not) in a hotel room in Switzerland. Panicking just a tad. It was exciting of course, but it’s scary. All I could think about right then was what this meant for me with my medical history. So in between frantically trying to speak to my nurse on the phone, I obvs wrote Ross a cute little poem to announce that he would be a daddy, when I got home that night.
In the next few days, I had telephone calls with my nurse, my Oncologist, and my GP. Without boring you all to tears with the detail, the conversations were positive and it started to sink in that I was actually bloody pregnant. If anyone relates specifically to my story here, drop me an email and I’ll be happy to chat more.
So, now here I am 18 weeks pregnant. The 12 week scan was CRAZY. To actually see that there really is a baby in there is so surreal. Wriggling around and showing off the fact that he or she has in fact got 2 feet and 2 hands.
It sort of ended the level of anxiety we both had around the baby. Up until that point, we could barely talk about it for worrying that something was going to go wrong, and that just because I was pregnant, that didn’t mean there would definitely be a baby bouncing around in 9 months time.
We’ve been trying to allow ourselves to enjoy it lately though, and stay positive that everything will just work out in the end. We even bought our first little outfit after the 12 week scan, and I can’t quite believe that a little person will be filling that little babygro one day.
So yep, that’s it. The explanation for my disappearance…and hello, thanks for hanging around my little gems!
Watch the vlog where I took the pregnancy test, told my husband, and go through the first trimester here.