By the age of 21 I had lived in 5 different towns, gone to 5 different schools/college/uni and floated around several groups of friends.
There are so many people I have left behind, or been left behind by, over the years. Not through any malice or drama, more likely laziness, or maybe we just grew into different kinda people. People slip away if you let time get the better of you, and before you know it you’re scrolling their Insta feed full of weddings and babies that you don’t know much about. But d’ya know what, I actually don’t think there’s much wrong with that. If you were destined to be absolute besties for life then you would have made that happen. If those people were yearning for my friendship, then surely they would have reached out and shouted about it before it was gone.
In a BIG way I am so happy that I grew up without Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and that mobile phones only just became a thing around my teen years, because I dread to imagine the pressure of looking Insta perfect at all times and relying on likes and followers to make me feel good throughout the bitchy years of school. But there is a bit of me that is sad it wasn’t around to keep me in touch with friends along the way. Some of those people might still be in my life if I had more ways to keep in touch with them the way we do now. Let’s face it, what good friendship doesn’t have a Whatsapp group to keep it going these days, lol.
I think mostly though, maintaining friendships comes with experience and maturity. In our younger years we were so caught up in the here and now, we didn’t think much about what might be around the corner. Who is a friend for a season, a friend for a reason, or a friend for a lifetime (I love that poem), but as we get older we realise who the precious friends are that we want to keep in our lives. People who are as invested in you as you are in them. Friendships that feel the same whether you saw each other yesterday or 6 months ago. I recognise qualities in people that I never used to when I was younger, and I’ve realised what’s important in a friendship, so I know who to treasure. One thing I’ve learnt with age is how to look at myself from the outside, and really get to know myself, better considering how I treat people and what that means for that person. Thinking before I say or do something to really consider the impact it might have, or flipping it on it’s head and thinking of something over and above that might give someone the boost they need (I wrote a post here about spreading the love). I want to fully support my besties in everything amazing that they do, and I SO appreciate the love that I get from those close to me.
So remember, you’ll lose people along the way and gain fabby new ones too, it doesn’t have to be a drama, it just wasn’t meant to be what you always thought it would be. You’ll have besties, you’ll have friends that come and go, and you’ll have strangers with memories.
Earrings – TOPSHOP
“Belle” Jumper – NEW LOOK
Skirt – TOPSHOP