OK, so I’m pretty sure this is breaking a few “mum to be rules”.
It’s the miracle of life, right? We’re supposed to cherish every moment?
Well guess what, I did not enjoy the first trimester.
Here’s why it really didn’t turn out to be the magical, exciting time I’d imagined…
1: Morning sickness is not a real thing. ALL DAY SICKNESS IS.
2: Ginger biscuits are gross.
3: Keeping a secret is hard. Especially when you feel sick. And need to eat ginger biscuits all the bloody time.
4: There’s tired, and then there’s next level “I’m growing a human” tired.
5: Your body starts changing. Not enough for you to feel pregnant, but enough for you to have a melt down over having NOTHING TO WEAR.
6: Oh yep, and nobody knows why you’ve started mysteriously piling on the pounds.
7: The saliva. There is always saliva.
8: Back pain. Erm, sorry…isn’t this supposed to come later?
9: The horse sized tablets that are disguised as pregnancy vitamins. It’s fun trying to swallow one of those down whilst also retching.
10: Nothing sounds good for dinner.
11: Boobs. In the way. Too painful.
12: You have to start eliminating things from your diet. Oh yeah, real fun when nobody knows your pregnant.
13: The super human level sense of smell. Somehow only comes into play when there is a bad smell. Really helps with number 1 on this list.
14: Throwing up ice cold squash that you just got out of the fridge is horrendous. I never want to drink squash again.
15: Throwing up and then wanting to instantly eat the exact same thing is weird af. But now I’ve missed my lunch, right?
16: Zero desire to do any of the things you used to find fun. Hello Instagram, remember me?
17: Stressing about how you’re going to afford maternity leave.
18: Constantly wondering whether there really is a baby in there.
19: Constantly worrying that the baby I haven’t yet seen might fall out of me at any given moment.
20: Constantly worrying.